Cheetos’ Bag of Bones*

Like Eric Cartman, I love cheesy poofs. The crunchy ones are good too, but there’s something special about letting a savory, cheesy bit of air and corn melt onto your tongue. Weird, yes. But damn it’s good.

During this, the true ‘most wonderful time of the year’, everybody gets into the spooky, including snack food purveyors. And Cheetos comes out with one of my favorites; poofs shaped like pieces of a skeleton. A skull here, a bone there, a rib-cage, a hand…all coated with white cheddar. (There’s a “Flaming Hot” version as well, but why go there? Stick with the white cheddar. More bone-like.)

The cheesy taste is very similar to original Cheetos, but without the orange tint that only serves to bust you when your roommates ask you where the rest of the bag has gone. These pieces are also a bit sturdier than the usual poofy goodness, probably to make sure the pieces stayed in relatively the same shape during transport. Otherwise I’m sure these delicately crafted bits would crumble under the chaos of shelf-stocking.

While these pieces are light and fluffy, they’re surprisingly filling. I can get by with a handful and feel content, unlike the never-ending hand-to-mouth of regular poofs. I’m betting that’s due to the more solid construction of these pieces.

While they’re yummy on their own, they’re particularly good with a hearty soup. I’d recommend pumpkin or butternut squash; float a few on top and immediately gobble ’em up. (They’ll dissolve rapidly otherwise. Hey, they’re poofs after all.) And, of course, they go well with sandwiches. Might I suggest a grilled cheese cut to look like a skull, to match things up?

So when you queue up a spooky movie this season, grab some of these to really get into the spirit. Bonus points if you try to build your own skeleton with ’em.

*Though I really think they should have gone with “Bag o’ Bones”…but that’s a quibble.


Denise Kitashima Dutton has been a reviewer since 2003, and hopes to get the hang of things any moment now. She believes that bluegrass is not hell in music form, and that beer is better when it’s a nitro pour. Besides GMR, you can find her at Atomic Fangirl,, or at that end seat at the bar, multi-tasking with her Kindle.